Monday, March 19, 2007

Auctions to boggle your mind (and maybe turn your stomach)

It's hard to visit ebay or other auction sites, and not find something that makes you shake your head, either at how much money someone will spend for inane things or how many inane things are out there to sell. If you're not an ebayer, you can check out what I'm talking about at a bunch of websites including, but not limited to, Weird Auction and Disturbing Auctions.

A fine example that people will pay money for anything is this week's bid for one packet of Sweet and Sour Sauce. As of this writing, the bids are at $21.25 US. At the nineteenth bid the seller threw in "2 ketchup packets, and 1 straw, the winning bidder will now get 5 salt packets, 5 napkins, and 2 brand new Happy Meal Toys". How can one resist? Now, this kind of auction is obviously about the fun, but what of a handbag fashioned from an actual bull scrotum or this horrific clown lamp (well, any clown anywhere, anyhow is pretty horrific to me--there, you know of my fear of clowns--and there is plenty to be scared of here, here, here, and here). Maybe clowns don't do it for you, then you can have some revolting "wedding trolls" the perfect gift for that newly married couple you just have to send a passive-aggressive message to. Or, let's say you once had a premature baby, how could you pass up a memento preemie doll (awww, Mom and Dad you could have paid the reserve price of $239 US for this fun souvenir of those first terrifying moments of my life when you were waiting to see if your 3lb, 14 oz newborn would live or die).

As for me, I'm going to go to my fridge and get that baggie full of ketchup and sweet and sour packets and make some extra cash, maybe take a nice vacation. Aruba, here I come.


At 7:56 PM, Blogger M Butler Hallett said...

Gaaahhhh! Why did I follow the preemie memento doll link?

My younger daughter was 4 pounds 8oz at birth, about 6 weeks early. Not dangerous for preemies, but full-term's certainly preferable. No complications, apart from one episode of apnea, but it was 11 days before I could bring her home.

It's never left me. Her in an incubator, skinny, shoulders covered in long blonde down, eyes rarely open. Tough--she took the breast before the nurses thought she would--tough, but unfinished somehow, interrupted. Fragile.

There were babies in NICU with her in far worse shape, including one born around 26 weeks gestation. Very thin. Birdlike.

Memento? No thanks.


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